Lisa - I love my mum, but...

I love my mum, and I want to keep her safe during the pandemic. Which is why she moved in with us just ahead of the official lockdown. She lives on her own – about an hour’s drive away – so I wanted her here so that I could make sure she stayed safe, and that she didn’t end up feeling lonely and isolated.

I’ll be honest, I also thought she would be able to help out with Charlie whilst Darrell and I juggle with work too.

And for the most, it’s been great. I’m enjoying having her here, she’s been putting on washing and hanging it out to dry every five minutes, taking Charlie out for Daily Exercise (slow walk down the river) and retiring to her bedroom every now and then to get some peace and quiet.

But… there are times when I have to walk out of the room whispering ‘FFS’ (the full version) under my breath, whilst rolling my eyes to the back of my head.

If I’m charged with locking a 71 year-old woman in the shed, here are my defences, Your Honour…

Loading The Dishwasher
I’m not particularly fussy about how the dishwasher is loaded, as long as the way it’s arranged means that dishes can ACTUALLY BE CLEANED. Every single time she puts things in the dishwasher, there are bowls upside down, glasses precariously left on shelves (ready to be tipped upside down during the wash) and cutlery just thrown in randomly.
She’s also apparently forgotten how to wash up in the traditional manner, preferring to stick a glass in the dishwasher at night – on its own – rather than maybe just rinse it out in the sink.

Making A Cup Of Tea/Coffee
This makes me the most stabby. The kettle sits on the side, about 30cm from the sink. The hot beverage gets made and the teaspoon left – EVERY SINGLE TIME – on the side, rather than lifting it about 10cm into the sink. And if tea is made, the jar holding the tea bags is left in the centre of the worktop, rather than being moved back to where it came from. Sometimes she even taunts me further by leaving the lid off the jar of tea bags.

Watching TV
So, I’m trying to keep her occupied as much as possible – and, as mentioned, she is helping out loads by walking with Charlie, doing the washing and loading up the dishwasher badly. Inbetween she’s watching TV, which is all well and good. But the crap she’s watching! Coronation Street and Emmerdale on catch-up, Doctors at lunchtime and then if she’s exhausted those options, she’ll find a TV Old channel and watch old episodes of Heartbeat, Casualty and more. I’ve got Netflix and Prime!

‘Being Good’
“I’m not going to drink any wine until Friday” = “Oh, go on, it’s been a busy day”
“I don’t really eat any cakes or biscuits” = tucking into ALL the confectionery and bakery products in the house
“I’ll make my own lunch because the soup you made is too filling for me” = avoiding the healthy, low calorie vegetable soup I’ve made to instead eat a cheese and salad cream sandwich plus a packet of crisps

I’m sure there are more – and I’m sure I have some annoying habits and traits (not many, mnd) – but we’ve not done four weeks yet and I’m very, very close to throwing a teaspoon at her when she makes the tea.

But like I say, I love my mum. I’m just hoping this lockdown doesn’t go on too long…